- Last seen on Feb 13 10:19 AM 2006. Member since February 14, 2006.
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- What hurts is at allpoetry
What hurts is the way you look at me. You imply I'm fat after loosing 16 pounds,
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on The Best is Good Enough by James Whitcomb Riley, on February 28, 2004Some of the enjambed lines seem to give me a pause but yet flowing voice almost like they are pulling you to the end in a few cases.
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on Grey Hairs by Marina Ivanova Tsvetaeva, on February 17, 2004Before reading this poem I never thought much about grey hair even though I have a couple of my own recently.
The part that stuck in my mind and makes me like this poem so much is the the lines
Time's menacing chalkmark,
Not to be overthrown
Means God knocks at the door
-- Once the house has burned down!
After reading this poem I get a feeling I should start watching for those grey hairs now.
Edited on Feb 17, 11:14 p.m. because ''.
Refrain Lines Change:
Line 1 to line 6 they change the word Probe to delve.
Line 12 and 18 should be the same as line 1 and 6.
Line 12 is the same as line 9 which is the other refain line.
Line 15 is not the same as lines 3, 9 and 19, but it is not.
Rhymes.
The 2nd lines in the stanzas use two differant sets of rhymes not one. (will, still and will) - (small, all and wall)
The first and Last lines in each Stanza should all rhyme.
(can, man, again, one, sun, when, on) and these don't.
Edited on Feb 29, 12:25 because ''.