Old Poetry Old Poetry Poetry Poets Essays Forums

Mike Teavee...


The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set —
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink —
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK — HE ONLY SEES!
'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,
'But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!'
We'll answer this by asking you,
'What used the darling ones to do?
'How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?'
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
THEY… USED… TO… READ! They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching 'round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it's Penelope.)
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle and-
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How the Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr. Rat and Mr. Mole-
Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks-
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something to read.
And once they start — oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.

Leave a guest comment (subject to review)

    : Comment:

    Name: (required)
    Email: (required, hidden from spam)

Comments

1 - 22 of 22

  • March 1

    Edit | Reply

    WONDERFUL!!!! MAGNIFICENT!!!

    The master speaks!!!! Oh, this is gold!!!
    Ronald Dahl is my poetic idol, and this awesome poem, among many others, is the reason. I am giving my television back to the store from which I bought it, and vow to read more. Thank you, Ronald Dahl!


  • December 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    mike teavee

    From guest mel (contact)
    so true!! i barely watch tv.


  • January 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    so true

    From guest joe (contact)
    so true. what a great poem!


  • December 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    this

    From guest lulu bustry (contact)
    i like it


  • A u r i e l l e
    December 8, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    This was very entertaining. But its true though reading do makes you think, tv makes you see unless you can think. I like this poetry kinda off maybe because i don't really like humor that much i like poetry with more depth a huge immense something not compared to before that for realwat i like but this poem was very lovely to read. I love the rhyming scheme and i notice with the enclosed bracket he didn't mak the count with the rhyming scheme. yes i like it was interesting and maybe laugh he makes you want to read it towards the end. I thought he was going to change the message around to they need the tv. I lov the way the author thought. How come he doesn't speak like the other poets perhaps he wasn't in america during those years. i red his bio and he survived alot so many wars though he still writes humor. I think he enjoys writing humor for i think it also makes him laugh. I guess humor poems just like anyother poems are good for the soul.


  • December 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    AWESOMMMEEEE!!

    From guest desiree (contact)
    I love this poem,Im doing it for a tournament for ICA,(intermediate communication application} aka advanced theatre arts for 7th graders.I found this and was suprised at how it actually made sense and evrything connected to what i WANTED to do.


  • November 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Vested Interest

    From guest Anthony Burns (contact)
    Well, Mr Dahl, it occurs to me that as a professional writer, you have a vested interest in removing what is obviously your strongest competitor in the market for a child's attention.
    Shame you're dead, really. I wouldn't mind debating the point.


    • February 7
      Edit | Reply
      This is the best comment I have seen on this poem.


  • November 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    From guest VARUN (contact)
    REALLY GOOD, I'M TELLING THIS FOR A POETRY COMPETITION IN MY SCHOOL. I MEMORISED THE 92 LINES SO QULCKLY BECAUSE I WAS SURE THAT I WOULD WIN 1ST PLACE IF I RECITED THIS POEM.


  • November 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Mike Tv

    From guest Amy (contact)
    very very frank... I need to remembera poem for a homework assignment and i chose this poem cause it true(apart from the eyeball part;;;

  • bowmore bill
    October 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    brutally frank and to the point.

    He got it spot on, truly the decline of the written word in the world of the young and not so young.


  • rufina caraid Moderators member
    August 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    A message for every parent, especially the ones using TV's as baby sitters. this poem packs more of a punch in modern times due to the rubbish that is churned out week after week on TV. Personally I think History channel, Discovery and Animal Planet should be compulsory watching.
    I agree with Mr Dahl - al least give kids the chance to learn to love books.
    Von


  • I-Like-Rhymes Moderators member
    August 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Dahl has a knack of taking the thoughts of what would nowadays be called 'grumpy old men' and expressing them in such wonderfully persuasive poems.
    He also manages with apparent ease to encase these thoughts in a smooth flowing setting with steady rhyme and perfect rhythm.
    This should be on every schoolroom wall.

  • sanmdr
    July 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    detailed arguement... to convince and reinforce book reading habit... which is essential for personal growth...
    good flow of words and rhyme...

    watching TV has both advantages and disadavantages though... quality entertainment and developing a taste for educative and informative programs wouldnt hurt

  • ritzy-rocky
    March 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    despite the fact that I grew up with a television, my mother ensured that i did not watch it too much especially when I was a small child. My mother has always been a book-lover, and now I have become one also. There are both positives and negatives to both tv and books, so I think both are good in reasonable doses. A part from all this, I think this poem is delightful and a good read, (it's practically a short story!) but this is good. GOOD ON YOU MR DAHL!! SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE!!


  • fool no1
    March 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant

    Very acurate in it's content, thought provoking too. I thought the whole thing was pretty well near the truth.(having grown part of the way up without a tv) Thoroughly enjoyed this read.

  • crazyforlongears
    January 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I liked this poem regardless of the length. I like the homage paid to books; being an avid book reader. Thanks for sharing

  • ea
    January 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    How odd, on no! that kids won't know
    this was a poem and not a show.

  • Frodofan
    January 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I never go the opportunity to read "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" but I am literally obsessed with the film.

    I am amazed at how closely Tim Burton kept the songs to the poems, very good thing.

  • florissant
    October 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Loved the allusions to books in this poem. To tell the truth, I have not watched television in two years (grounded for the rest of my life) and I don't really think it's affecting me a lot. In fact, since I like to read more than watch tv, I actually prefer it this way. Besides, with a book, you can put it down whenever you like (unless it's a really good book) whereas you have to wait for an episode on tv to end.


  • August 23, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    MIKE YOU LOOK ALRIGHT.

  • C c
    June 15, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    i love this poem, roald dahl is my idol, i've loved his poetry since i was 9 when i first read it. ^__^

  • sVento--HenpeckHobo
    May 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I disagree with Healina, the length of this poem is absolutely perfect! Perfect message as well! Roald Dahl just made my favorites! The form in this poem is the same kind that I love to write more than any other form; rhyming couplets with good meter! This is amazing!


  • March 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    The poem was very good but could have been shourter


  • March 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    A fantastic poem, but I don't totally agree.
    TV has an awful lot to offer with it's multifarious subjects today - there are fantastic programmes on the History and Discovery channels etc. Many films are worth watching.
    I think, as in most things, it's a case of balance.
    I'm in my 50's and didn't have a TV as a young child, so I'm lucky, being brought up to read.
    I now write poetry myself, and just dropped in to see what Mr Dahl wrote.
    This is the first I've read and I already love his style.
    Many thanks.
    Robin Tumman,
    Manchester,
    England.


  • September 14, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    that was a great poem

  • Desiree Darkk
    December 3, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    TV has become the worlds babysitter.
    Mr. Dahl is a genius and my idol.
    And it's my honor to edit his words


    Desiree


  • October 27, 2003
    Edit | Reply

    Overall, we liked it.

    General Comments: We found the poem long.It was kind of true. TV can be very confusing. This poem made many kids say, "that's not true!" Some students liked it a lot. One student says, "I don't think that TV affects my imagination, it helps it." TV is bad for you. One student says, "It is the best poem I have ever heard. I liked the part when Roald talks about eyes popping out!" I liked the sarcasism throughout the poem.

  • Pari Ali
    September 10, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Mr Dahls words of wisdom will live on and on, I just couldn't agree more, the TV is the bane of my existence, with it's incessant nonsense spewing out. There were other things children did too like explore play outside now with more and more people living in boxes (those things some call apartments) it is becoming increasingly difficult for kids to do more outdoor activities so thank God for books and what is wrong with plain good old dreaming just stare in the distance and let ones mind wander. Nothing like dreaming for letting the imagination just run.

1 - 22 of 22