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English Sonnet No. 1

When death close my blank eyes --
Hard from so much vain torment,
What thoughts will fill your young bosom
Of all my sad moments?

I see you now distracted and distant:
More than distant - withdrawn. And I predict,
yes now I predict the exact moment
When to another man your desire will turn,

For you will have nothing, but your loneliness,
Left, abandoned! One day I shall leave
I shall sleep the ultimate sleep.
On that day you will cry… What matters? Cry.

Then I will feel much closer
To me, your uncertain heart.

Notes

To read this in the original Portuguese click here

http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/44604-Manuel-Bandeira-Soneto-Ingles-No-1

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1 - 5 of 5

  • Peteskid
    April 5

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    I'm not convinced of the sadness here, sometimes love is an acceptance, lives that come to gether yet remain disconnected in ways, un-avoidable ways; there were uneven pasts and there would be futures not in parallel too; and perhaps there might be more honesty in a moment of a tear than in the denial before or after... anyway...a lovely poetic experience, a very difficult translation here done so very well...PK


  • Yemassee Moderators member
    April 2

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    It's a new type of poem, an English Pity Sonnet...

    I have my world's smallest violin out. Horribly self-indulgent, but isn't all writing, but most disguises it better.

    I won't point out the logical fallacy in those last two lines.


    • I-Like-Rhymes Moderators member
      April 3
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      The literal translation of those last two lines is a little odd as you indicate. Perhaps a brighter thought might be

      Then I will feel much closer
      Happy that your heart remains unsure.


      • MariGoes Moderators member
        April 3
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        I agree, I changed it a bit. Couldn't find a way to translate what he meant there. "Then I will feel much closer
        Happy that your heart remains unsure." But what (or what to) he feels closer?
        A literally translation would be something like 'feel much closer to a happy me, your uncertain heart'.
        Explored several alternatives, but none worked well. Any other idea?


      • Yemassee Moderators member
        April 3
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        I was being a little too smart, suggesting that one can't be happy when one can no longer feel anything.

        But I read it differently today, maybe just by taking the time, as I should have the first time. While it still may be a little indulgent, I can see his real concern is with his wife/lover losing him. Yesterday I simply read it as his concern with her forsaking him, even though he will be dead. But that isn't what he's saying, I don't think now.

1 - 5 of 5