The Height Of Honesty

"Three friends once, in the course of conversation,
      Touch'd upon honesty: 'No virtue better,'
    Says Dick, quite lost in sweet self-admiration,
      'I'm sure I'm honest;--ay--beyond the letter:
    You know the field I rent; beneath the ground
      My plough stuck in the middle of a furrow
    And there a pot of golden coins I found!
      My landlord has it, without fail, to-morrow.'
    Thus modestly his good intents he told:
      'But stay,' says Bob,' we soon shall see who's best,
    A _stranger_ left with me uncounted gold!
      But I'll not touch it; which is honestest?'
    'Your honest acts I've heard,' says Jack, 'but I
      Have done much better, would that all folks learn'd it,
    Mine is the highest pitch of honesty--
      I borrow'd an umbrella and--_return'd it!!