A Cricket Casualty

My dear, I'm awful shorry
  'Bout gettin' home sho late.
I orra been in hoursh ago;
  But you know how I hate
To biss a crit of micket -
  (Shuse me) I mean to say,
To criss a mit of bicket -
  Cricket!  Ash right.  Hooray!


In-toshicated?  Nonshense!
  Just need a lirrle rest.
I shush been round to Johnson's place
  Lish'nin' to the Test.
Great game!  It's nervish teshion
  Has made me feel like thish.
You know how I like cricket -
  I wouldn't bit a mish.


Hooray for Misher Bra'man!
  Anurraa fourer hit!
Hoo - what?  Don't be inshultin'!
  I'm norra leash bit lit!
Not even s'ightly shrozzled.
  Jush had a lirrle spot
Each time they hirra fourer -
  Mean to call tharra - lot?


My dear, don't get - hic - cited,
  I wouldn't hissa mit.
Three sheers for good old Washaname!
  Anurra boun'ry hit! ...
Hic!  Struse me, love.  Per-haps you're right,
  I berra gessum rest.
Jush beein - Hum!  You know, Jolson's place -
  Lish'nin' to - the Test.