More than a catbird hates a cat,
Or a criminal hates a clue,
Or the Axis hates the United States,
That's how much I love you.
I love you more than a duck can swim,
And more than a grapefruit squirts,
I love you more than a gin rummy is a bore,
And more than a toothache hurts.
As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea,
Or a juggler hates a shove,
As a hostess detests unexpected guests,
That's how much you I love.
I love you more than a wasp can sting,
And more than the subway jerks,
I love you as much as a beggar needs a crutch,
And more than a hangnail irks.
I swear to you by the stars above,
And below, if such there be,
As the High Court loathes perjurious oathes,
That's how you're love by me.
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To My Valentine-is there a different version
From guest Lynn Grants (contact)
Is there another version of this poem? I remember the the third line as "Or an odalisque hates the sultan's mates" and the last stanza as "I love you more than a bronco bucks, or a Yale man cheers the blue. Ask not what is this thing called love, it's what I'm in with you. Thanks for any light you can shed on this. -
I absolutely adore this poem! It goes directly against all of the "usual rules" of valentine day sentiments in the sense that instead of utilizing the pleasant and sweet notions we often associate with love...Ogden Nash relates it to so many things that one would consider unpleasant notions. Yet, spins the thoughts in such a way as to still get the meaning across.
This is definitely a first-rate, mud in the face twist on the standard love poem.
UB
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