In England once there lived a big
A wonderfully clever pig.
To everybody it was plain
That Piggy had a massive brain.
He worked out sums inside his head,
There was no book he hadn't read.
He knew what made an airplane fly,
He knew how engines worked and why.
He knew all this, but in the end
One question drove him round the bend:
He simply couldn't puzzle out
What LIFE was really all about.
What was the reason for his birth?
Why was he placed upon this earth?
His giant brain went round and round.
Alas, no answer could be found.
Till suddenly one wondrous night.
All in a flash he saw the light.
He jumped up like a ballet dancer
And yelled, "By gum, I've got the answer!"
"They want my bacon slice by slice
"To sell at a tremendous price!
"They want my tender juicy chops
"To put in all the butcher's shops!
"They want my pork to make a roast
"And that's the part'll cost the most!
"They want my sausages in strings!
"They even want my chitterlings!
"The butcher's shop! The carving knife!
"That is the reason for my life!"
Such thoughts as these are not designed
To give a pig great peace of mind.
Next morning, in comes Farmer Bland,
A pail of pigswill in his hand,
And piggy with a mighty roar,
Bashes the farmer to the floor…
Now comes the rather grizzly bit
So let's not make too much of it,
Except that you must understand
That Piggy did eat Farmer Bland,
He ate him up from head to toe,
Chewing the pieces nice and slow.
It took an hour to reach the feet,
Because there was so much to eat,
And when he finished, Pig, of course,
Felt absolutely no remorse.
Slowly he scratched his brainy head
And with a little smile he said,
"I had a fairly powerful hunch
"That he might have me for his lunch.
"And so, because I feared the worst,
"I thought I'd better eat him first."
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Comments
1 - 39 of 39
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From guest Jess (contact)
i think its a fantastic poem and i have even chosen it for my english assignment. it GREAT. hats off to roald dahl!! = D -
wow...that's one smart pig
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Dang... That's one streetsmart pig.
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Awesome!
From guest Manda (contact)
Wow! I was looking for a comment to recite to my class. This one is perfect! I have learnt it off by heart! -
the pig poem
From guest ELLIE GODDARD (contact)
the best poem i have ever read.all the words rhyme and you have made the most funniest poem in the WORLD. -
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cool
From guest isha (contact)
this poem teaches u that u should NOT eat inoccent animals.good work roald dahl!hats off to u. -
the pig
From guest isha (contact)
this was a funny and cute poem.what a clever pig.i never knew roal dahl was such a good poem.i luved it. -
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Brilliant
But please edit to "peace" of mind.
Robin. -
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Done!
Thanks Robin.
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From guest sara (contact)
wow thats a lil crazy... who would think of a poem like that... you have to be a lil out of it to have thought of that... weirdooooo!!!!!!! -
the pig
From guest donna swaine (contact)
i too love this poem i remember my farther reading it to me as a child, he must of read it twice a night every night for years. My children now ask me to read it to them every night too. -
The PIg has captured my heart
From guest anar (contact)
this poem is so cute and hilarious....it has captured me feelings and made me laugh to such an extent that i read it over and over again. CONGRATS....[giggles]* love it xD -
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wow
From guest Nicola Legg (contact)
this is an amazing poem. it has so much humor but yet it teaches you something. congratulations to Roald Dahl! -
Ironic Twist
And the irony is that it was Farmer Bland who thought he was bringing home the bacon!
Charley Noble -
poetic justice
perhaps? love the twist to this. -
A grizzly tale
I wouldn't call this a cautionary tale though it is written like one. More's the pity, wild pigs do kill and eat people if they are stressed, so I'll pass on this one. Iana -
interesting... seems like a parable... told in a creative and humourous way...
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nice poem
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Poor ole Farmer Bland....jst walked into d wrong pigsty!
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Delightful
It was delightfully sick. I loved it -
ha ha cool
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Funny, cute and true to pigs in real life...reminds me of the movie 'Snatch' w/ Brad Pitt..."Feed 'im to da Pigs, Errol!..Feed 'im to da Pigs!"
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great poem
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this is my fav. poem by him, he was a great poet
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Very silly, and absolutely fantastic.
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awesome and amazing is all i have 2 say!!!
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it is nice
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HAHA!! wow, this was absolutely awesome!! i love to read humorous things such as these, especially this early in the morning... my favorite part was-
""The butcher's shop! The carving knife!
"That is the reason for my life!"
Such thoughts as these are not designed
To give a pig great piece of mind."
great job, best of wishes, and keep up the good work!!
~tyler
Edited on Jan 16, 7:59 because 'forgot something...'. -
Wow...what a strange effect. At the surface, it's humorous and very relevant to the selfless act of self-preservation.
On the deeper point, we have a subject that can relate to most life situations...the essense of "Fight or Flight" and "Kill or Be Killed"
Very enterestating...yes, blend of the words entertaining and interesting.
Whatever..
~Syshonblast~ -
I tend to be a harsh critic with rhymes in poems, but this was too much fun to do so. The pace slows down when you were a bit too verbose in some of the lines. Less is more sometimes.
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HAHAHAHA. Wow. This is great.
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This is wonderful, revenge before the act and a bit of irony as most likely the pig will still get et.
John -
Thanks for putting up Roald Dahl's poems, I love his novels since I was really young. I like how he use simple words to express the complicated philosophies behind life, and the image of 'pig' create a paradox, since it was regarded as unintelligent creatures. Anyways, it is a delightful read.
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its a nice funny poem the language may not be that impressive but its descriptive and is delightful to read
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It is a childrens poem, children don't tend to have such a wide ranging vocabulary as adults do.
I personally love this poems, I think I've read it before, but it still makes me smile!
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This tremendously excellent. I love this and so will my grandchildren. I love to make then laugh.
from gramma sdaldgwg. I'm not that old. I'm only 56 and a jack of all trade. I'm even singing rock and roll and hope my song comes in the mail soon. -
I've always liked Dahl as well. Nice to see something I'd not seen before. Pigs Rule!!!
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LOL!!! That's funny. I thought it was going to be sad at the end, because, well, you know. But, it wasn't. I like the background put with this, most poems on Oldpoetry poems are bland, but, I know the reason, but, still this is nice.
I saw a slight spelling error, and since I have the power to correct it, I will. And not mention what it is.
But, this was funny and a bit awakening as well. A great piece by Dahl.
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Roald Dahl has a unique and zany way of looking at the world. I enjoyed his books and am happy to see he also wrote poetry. Great to see some "light verse" featured!
Jennifer -
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I love his books
I love his books though I think I've only read three......hmm... -
I have grown up on a diet of Roald Dahl stories, but up till now had not read this poem, so it was refreshing to read. Roald Dahl had a fantastically creative mind as far as childrens literature went. Not a lot of people know he wrote serious stories too for the more mature audiences. There was a series in England on television called Tales of the unexpected, and Roald Dahl was one of the writers on there!! I bet that is something not everyone knows. Anyway. Much enjoyed and anytime Roald Dahl or Spike Milligan is promoted its a must read in my book.
Lisa x -
Thanks to whoever put this up. I love Roald Dahl, he's always been one of my favorites, ever since I read Charlie and the Chocolate Factort. Funny and adorable. Thanks so much to whoever promoted it again.
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this was too cute and funny.
Yvonne
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Roald Dahl is and has been one of my favorite authors since I was a child of four. Since I could read, I indulged myself in every world he ever had to offer me, and I can honestly say that he (along with Dr. Suess and Dickens) lasted me through many hours of absolute 'lost time'. The only book I haven't read by the man yet is "Fantastic Mr. Fox". I need to read that...
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It was probably me... I sleeptype. Rohl Dahl rocks!
MMP
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Hahahahahaha. Omg I love this. I love Roald Dahl, his stories and illustrations. What a delight.
Did Mushika put this up?
lol
Enjoyed.
Desiree
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lol
gee I wonder who put this up on the promo board and the OP front page
nice chuckle at this
think I might make meself a sandwich now
Ham cheese and pickles
without the ham
lol
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