Reject me not if I should say to you
I do forget the sounding of your voice,
I do forget your eyes that searching through
The mists perceive our marriage, and rejoice.
Yet, when the apple-blossom opens wide
Under the pallid moonlight’s fingering,
I see your blanched face at my breast, and hide
My eyes from diligent work, malingering.
Ah, then, upon my bedroom I do draw
The blind to hide the garden, where the moon
Enjoys the open blossoms as they straw
Their beauty for his taking, boon for boon.
And I do lift my aching arms to you,
And I do lift my anguished, avid breast,
And I do weep for very pain of you,
And fling myself at the doors of sleep, for rest.
And I do toss through the troubled night for you,
Dreaming your yielded mouth is given to mine,
Feeling your strong breast carry me on into
The peace where sleep is stronger even than wine.
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Comments
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Not meaning to spoil anyone's enjoyment of this poem, but I wouldn't be true to my own tastes if didn't say that I don't think it's DHL at his best.
For a love poem, the first verse is a dampener, with him asking his wife not to be upset with him because he puts her out of his mind. Gramattically, does "and rejoice" go with "I" or with "your eyes"? It's unclear. If the former, he's not going to soften her heart by saying he rejoices at forgetting her! If the latter, it's a strange note to introduce, and it's never taken up.
Rhyme can be wonderful, but it wasn't DHL's forte, and the strains show here, as in the penultimate line, and in his reliance on "malingering" (with all its irrelevant negative overtones) to achieve the rhyme in S2.
I don't think he was particularly good either, at syllabic rhythm. Putting "do" before the verb 7 times to achieve the meter makes the diction in this short poem seem very mannered.
The words repeated (e.g. "breast" three times, and "moon" and "sleep") don't help.
The closing line, which should be great, contains a really woolly simile "sleep ... stronger even than wine". What does that mean? And why is it given the showpiece spot?
In this poem presumably meant to express passion (a "love song") what, I wonder, was the seed phrase or line that came from his muse and compelled him to start writing? It's not obvious. I suspect he set out, without feeling passion, to construct a love poem; and the result inevitably is heavy going.
Others may totally disagree with me. That's fine. In the arena of poetry I respect and even enjoy all such disagreements, so long as they are good humoured. If someone can persuade me to their different point of view, even better.
But until that happens I won't be including 'A Love Song' in my personal collection of best love poems. -
Written only as D. H. Lawrence could. A beautiful write.
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This is a very beautiful, highly imaginative poem.
Dreaming your yielded mouth is given to mine,
Feeling your strong breast carry me on into
The peace where sleep is stronger even than wine"
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