A dark unfathomed tide
Of interminable pride -
A mystery, and a dream,
Should my early life seem;
I say that dream was fraught
With a wild and waking thought
Of beings that have been,
Which my spirit hath not seen,
Had I let them pass me by,
With a dreaming eye!
Let none of earth inherit
That vision of my spirit;
Those thoughts I would control,
As a spell upon his soul:
For that bright hope at last
And that light time have past,
And my worldly rest hath gone
With a sigh as it passed on:
I care not though it perish
With a thought I then did cherish
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I have to say that the word 'interminable' ruins the rhythm of the poem right off the bat. It sounds rushed coming off the easy iambs of the first line. I think lines 5-10 are the best in this poem. Taken in the light of his early years as an orphan, they really have power.
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This definately has Edgar Allan Poe's trademark all over. The words drip of sadness. Out the entire poem, I actually prefer the last four lines best.
♥ Kimberly -
I think I will have to agree with Nam. This poem has so much potential...I wonder if it's one of his earlier works. But it still has Poe written all over it.
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Some of Poe's work I feel is worded too much. And I'm not speaking of 'big words' or anything like that, just the specific words used and then crammed into one sentence to form a part. That is the way some of his short stories read to me and that is how this piece reads to me.
The rhyming I feel, tho I am sure Aliana would disagree, lacks from some of his other rhymed pieces. It just doesn't go anywhere in rhythm, it is dormant and unknown.
The story, tho quite, is well put, but, I feel the rhyme makes the piece overall weak.
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love your rhyme Edgar
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