I camped one night in an empty hut on the side of a lonely hill.
I didn’t go much on empty huts, but the night was awful chill.
So I boiled me billy and had me tea and seen that the door was shut.
Then I went to bed in an empty bunk by the side of the old slab hut.
It must have been about twelve o’clock – I was feeling cosy and warm –
When at the foot of me bunk I sees a horrible ghostly form
It seemed in shape to be half an ape with a head like a chimpanzee
But wot the hell was it doin there, and wot did it want with me?
You may say if you please that I had DTs or call me a crimson liar,
But I wish you had seen it as plain as me, with it’s eyes like coals of fire.
Then it gave a moan and a horrible groan that curdled me blood with fear,
And ‘There’s only the two of us here,’ it moans, ‘There’s only the two of us here!’
I kept one eye on the old hut door and one on the awful brute;
I only wanted to dress meself and get to the door and scoot.
But I couldn’t find where I’d left me boots so I hadn’t a chance to clear
And, ‘There’s only the two of us here,’ it moans. ‘There’s only the two of us here!’
I hadn’t a thing to defend meself, not even a stick or stone,
And ‘There’s only the two of here!’ It ses again with a horrible groan.
I thought I’d better make some reply, though I reckoned me end was near,
‘By the Holy Smoke, when I find me boots, there’ll be only one of us here.’
I get me hands on me number tens and out through the door I scoots,
And I lit the whole of the ridges up with the sparks from me blucher boots.
So I’ve never slept in a hut since then, and I tremble and shake with fear
When I think of the horrible form wot moaned, ‘There’s only the two of us here!’
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Comments
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For Stevie,
Good Luck with this at school. It's a brilliant poem, please read the comments below you may find something of use to you.
Von - Oldpoetry Team
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funnnny.
Oh this was a fun one!
I liked it very much... a great story.
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I loved this poem. It'd be a good one for Halloween.
Does anyone know what accent is represented here? Is that Cockney? Scottish?
paul -
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Aussie Accent!
Accent is Australian with perhaps a little migrated English and/or British accents thrown in for good measure - but definitely Australian
the poet was born in Victoria and except for his War Service years (from which he never really recovered) he spent his whole life in Australia. I hope this makes this poem a little clearer for you Paul. - Von ~ Oldpoetry
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Welcome back old friend.
It's nice to stumble across old favourites after an interval. This is a case in point. I first heard this poem so many years ago I cannot recall but I do recall the pleasure it gave then and and am happy to find it again AND to know who wrote it.
Having spent the occasional night in an isolated Scottish bothy hut I can appreciate the potential for panic in such situations as the poet describes. The fact that he has taken that sense of panic and twisted it into a humerous tale shows the skill of the writer. -
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Funny
This is a very funny story, and read out loud with emphasis it's even funnier.
Well done Mr Harrington
Von
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For any Aussies who read this, Slim Dusty made a recording of this. He didn't sing it, he just recited it, backed by the occasional chord on his guitar. Lots of giggles in this one.
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There was an error too! It was included on a 2CD album of Paterson and Lawson Poetry, no credit was given to Harrington at all. Von
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Extremely entertaining. Hilarious.
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