Upon my breast
Floats a boat of heartbreak
And I have just embarked;
There's not a single day when waves
Do not soak my sleeves.
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Excellent tanka! One of my favourite from this lovely author. I related with these lines as soon as I read this. In L1, she refers to her left breast, I think. I think it is left because in L2, she mentions heartbreak. Since the heart is on the left side, close to the breast, that's how I connected this. Her heart is like a boat that has been broken/torn apart. L3..this could have happened when she just embarked or left on the journey of her love{maybe she was to get married and he did not turn up last moment?}. L4..now that her heart has been broken, she cries every single day{Waves here means her tears} and cries so much that her sleeves are soaked endlessly in her tears. Brilliant write and so very sad. I'm sure lots of girls can connect with this. In the lower part, is a personal thought {image of this} she has felt that is put forth. I like the pivot line here and how it has balanced her tanka beautifully. The upper and lower parts read very well on their own. This is a beautiful piece.
-Charishma -
Sitting on a deck. you must be joking
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This reminds me of many many nights that I spent crying because of heartbreak. I can relate so well. And it amazes me how I can relate to something that is so short...
it is short and simple, yet so deep and meaningful
Im starting to appriciate short poems very much!
Kayla -
Interesting...short, with lovely images. A bit matter-of-fact for a sad poem; then, that's much better than "boo-hoo me."
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I understand this... tears are a way of life, and for me, sometimes, an everyday ritual that prepares me either for the night to come, for the next class in school, or for the morning. I love this poem... I'll have to remember to come back to it and read it the days I don't feel up to par.
Kate
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It seems to me that it is about a person sitting on a deck with their feet dangling in the water and just enjoying what the day brings to them but also reminiscing about a love that has since left their side.
That is the main impression that I got, I could be wrong.
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Yeah I love the imagery. A beautiful tanka regardless of the sorrowful mood.
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I don't know why this is so hard to understand. Pretty straight forward to me.
But thats just me.
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The heart break she now feels lies heavy upon her breast,
the waves which soak her sleeves, are her tears, as in reference to some of her earlier tankas.
Andrew -
****
I like these images, its about deep sorrow, I take...
Funny, deep sorrow, surface imagery... nice
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This is too deep for me to relate.. sounds good though.. great write
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