A drum beats in the far temple; I think it's in the clouds.
Is it above the meadow and hill, perhaps below the sky?
Something sends a veil of mist, I cannot heed the drum.
Notes
Poem origin: Korea, about the 16th century; author unknown
Poem form: Sijo
Translation by Dr. Larry C. Gross, PhD
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One thing I notice on a lot of translations, is when there is a word that has multiple meanings, many forget that the Sijo is set in three stages, Subject, question, memorable phrase and answer.
Where the first word is translated a "Something" I wonder if there was another word that could have been used?
Even though the last line fails in this (through the translation) I like the piece, as I see an inner battle to heed the drum call. -
Since it is a translation in English, the responsibility ultimately goes to the translator for any weakness in the final line (or elsewhere!). It might be good to mention, though, that the strength of the final line of a sijo is traditionally in the first segment, not the final one. In fact, when the verse was sung (classical sijo were song lyrics) the final segment was frequently omitted.
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I like this piece, but to me the final stich let the rest down with its wording, it may be the translation or the poet. I like the idea of the subject.
Andrew -
a sijo eh? this is a new form for me - i'll have to look it up in my poetry encyclopedia...
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Ingenious.
This write is a pure genius..I want more!!!
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