it gets run over by a van.
you find it at the side of the road
and bury it.
you feel bad about it.
you feel bad personally,
but you feel bad for your daughter
because it was her pet,
and she loved it so.
she used to croon to it
and let it sleep in her bed.
you write a poem about it.
you call it a poem for your daughter,
about the dog getting run over by a van
and how you looked after it,
took it out into the woods
and buried it deep, deep,
and that poem turns out so good
you're almost glad the little dog
was run over, or else you'd never
have written that good poem.
then you sit down to write
a poem about writing a poem
about the death of that dog,
but while you're writing you
hear a woman scream
your name, your first name,
both syllables,
and your heart stops.
after a minute, you continue writing.
she screams again.
you wonder how long this can go on.
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Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This is so sad. Poor little puppy. and poor little girl.
~sigh~
This was a really good poem. It was a bit choppy at the beginning but all in all it was very good.
Keep up the good work.
Beka
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wow tragic, i only got that poem thanx to windhover. thanx for the explination. i got caught up with the death of the dog and his sadness for his daughter. i think the beggining was a little short and hard. it didn't flow like the rest of the poem but the theme is excellent and i'm interested in reading more. great work.
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I liked it, it was interesting, the writing style wasn't something I had seen much of, the repitition and in the lines that wasn't quite repitition but it flowed nicely off the tongue and the idea behind it was very good.
I particulary like these lines
then you sit down to write
a poem about writing a poem
about the death of that dog
That was very interesting as it seems like a lot of famous songwriters and poets end up writing about their previous works and making hits and such out of that.
Also they were interesting in the way one can get so caught up in writing. I like this poet
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The point of the wife screaming is the point of the poem. This is not a poem about a dying dog, it is a poem about how a man gets caught up in himself and in his passion for writing. Just as his sympathy for his daughter is transformed by his desire and love for the poem, the relationship with the screaming wife has been transformed into hiding and writing, and the tragedy is that he friggin recognizes that it is killing them.
This poem is not puppy dog dying sad; it is end of a marriage, world collapsed tragic. -
I enjoyed the overall theme and the mystery, but thought the language could have been more poetic. As it is, while it's nice, it seems a little more like fragmented prose.
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I liked it. I thought it was very good... but 1 question what was the women screaming your name for? but I still liked it was sad.
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It's good
I like it. It is very original. Kind of a sad one, but I still like it.
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