One day I wrote her name upon the strand,
But came the waves and washed it away:
Again I wrote it with a second hand,
But came the tide, and made my pains his prey.
"Vain man," said she, "that dost in vain assay,
A mortal thing so to immortalize;
For I myself shall like to this decay,
And eke my name be wiped out likewise."
"Not so," (quod I) "let baser things devise
To die in dust, but you shall live by fame:
My verse your vertues rare shall eternize,
And in the heavens write your glorious name:
Where whenas death shall all the world subdue,
Our love shall live, and later life renew."
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Comments
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Well written, well said~ realitysdream. The wave can be seen as a never ending cycle, and can be referred to the poet's undying love for his beloved.
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Oh this is beautiful! I love how it creates a visual for the high esteem in which the speaker holds the woman. His wording is sort of dreamy, as a man whose world has been blurred by love.
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Oh this is beautiful! I love how it creates a visual for the high esteem in which the speaker holds the woman. His wording is sort of dreamy, as a man whose world has been blurred by love.
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This is very interesting to say the least. A sweet poem, and the syntax brings much to the poem. Without it, the poem would take different meaning, and the reader would be left disquieted.
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I thought the syntax of this poem made it flow easier. For lack of a better way to phrase this, the words felt like butter rolling off my tongue. This is exactly the type of poetry I like to read!
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I think I already left one comment on this write but it was my personal opinion and didnt really deal much with the class, so here is for the class. I think that the author of this write did an excellent job describing the process of wanting to remember his loved one. His use of syntax throughout the write was pleasent to read, and done in a way that didnt stress my eyes or mind. I think syntax in this example is a great example of a writer trying to accomodate his audience without making them over-extend theirself to read it.
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Oh Oh Oh. What an awesome message.
I loved the rhyme, as well... and the language was beautiful. *sigh*
this is a very good 'un.
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I enjoyed focusing on the atypical syntax in this... trying to tickle out the impact of each.
The last line stands the strongest for me.
Where whenas death shall all the world subdue,
Our love shall live, and later life renew."
as opposed to the more predictable…
(When whereas death shall subdue all the world, our love shall live and renew life later. Pretty boring in contrast.)
The close pairing of shall live and later life focusing the contrast and the commonality more intently.
But came the tide – more emphasis on the action. It brought more intent to the coming. Any other order would have left it just a happenstance of daily events.
Muchly enjoyed. oll
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what beauty is written in these words! the untypical syntax works at emphasizing certain points, and helps with the flow and rhyme of the poem too! i enjoyed reading this cleverly written masterpiece!
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best read outloud!! How romantic, and yes he did and she does...
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In vain and glorious ego dwell – your words too shall have their knell – for eternity is but life’s great fiction, all must bow to entropies hard cold friction!
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This is a very beautiful poem. Eternal love is the only treasure we shall get back in heaven...i suppose.
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This write reminds me of the 13th warrior, a movie, where the leader of a group of Norsemen defeats a great evil upon the lands of another king but at the cost of his life. In the end he has nothing to take to Vallhalla with him but sais that a man might be thought of as rich if someone where to write about them. The arab with him in his travels vows to do so, and the leader passes to the next life.
I would have to agree that is a vain thing to try and immortalize someone in a write but then again it may be the only way one has to give a gift of lasting impression. Another point to ponder is that things get lost in the translation of time, knowing the conditions that surrounded the era lends so much to the reasons of why things are done so.
This write was lovely in the nature of why it was wrote, to idiolize, or remember the one it was written for. Death shall claim us all at one point or another, though through leaving a impression in some sort of art a sense lives on into others lives. Great write, I enjoyed reading it very much and mulling over the thoughts of the author.
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Love, as life, is fleeting and only through words do some find their immortality.
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How romantic. To wish to immortalize your love. That is a beautiful poem. I think I remember reading it in an English class once. I am not certain. It is familiar. He most certainly made her immortal.
~Tawnya~ -
Renewed with every read,
A wonderful subject but the dip into archaic language, for her replies seemed a little disjointed to me.
Andrew -
Of course the author gave himself the last word, but what a romantic gesture.
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That every fall of every stone on shore, might leave a mark and maybe more, that writing to a reading cognoscente, might chart the course of each event…
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And indeed, he did, and it does!
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