
I will put by my violent days, and the ill deeds that I have wrought,
All wayward sins of a wild heart, all empty joys I sought,
I will forswear the fruitless year and the deedless day,
And the long gold tresses and false caresses of Morgan le Fay.
The songs are hollow and empty: the wine is down to the lees:
I am full sick of the witching dance and unclean mysteries:
And the palace of magic and wonder just an ill shadow seems,
Wild feats and vile faces out of evil dreams.
There shall no sleep come nigh me all through the long night,
Where I watch mine arms alone for a space ere I ride forth to fight,
Alone with the cold altar and the cross of my slain Lord,
With the stark helm and the grey mail and the cross-hilted sword.
I have bound the spur to my heel again; I have rent the past like a scroll:
In the bitter waters of sorrow will I wash clean my soul.
I have put by the worthless world and the deedless day,
And the long gold tresses and false caresses of Morgan le Fay.
From SMALL CRAFT: Sailor Ballads and Chantys, edited by Cicely Fox Smith, published by George H. Doran Co., New York, UK, © 1919, pp. 147-148.
The 2nd poem in a set titled "Romance."
This unusual poem may be more than the poet's final haunting farewell to Victoria, British Columbia, where she had resided for almost 10 years. She had evidently given up waiting for her beloved sailor "Dan" to return or heard that he was lost at sea, and then resolved to return to England on the eve of World War 1. She certainly poured energy into supporting the war effort when she returned to England with her poems, as well as other volunteer activities. However, she probably never fully escaped from the spell cast by Morgan le Fay. She never married once she returned to England, nor is there any hint of any romantic involvement in her later life.
The header graphic shows "Queen Morgana le Fay" as drawn by Howard Pyle (1853-1911) from THE STORY OF SIR ARTHUR AND HIS KNEIGHTS, Scribner's, New York, 1903.
Charley Noble