The animal I really dig,
Above all others is the pig.
Pigs are noble. Pigs are clever,
Pigs are courteous. However,
Now and then, to break this rule,
One meets a pig who is a fool.
What, for example, would you say,
If strolling through the woods one day,
Right there in front of you you saw
A pig who'd built his house of STRAW?
The Wolf who saw it licked his lips,
And said, "That pig has had his chips."
"Little pig, little pig, let me come in!"
"No, no, by the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin!"
"Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in!"
The little pig began to pray,
But Wolfie blew his house away.
He shouted, "Bacon, pork and ham!
Oh, what a lucky Wolf I am!"
And though he ate the pig quite fast,
He carefully kept the tail till last.
Wolf wandered on, a trifle bloated.
Surprise, surprise, for soon he noted
Another little house for pigs,
And this one had been built of TWIGS!
"Little pig, little pig, let me come in!"
"No, no, by the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin!"
"Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in!"
The Wolf said, "Okay, here we go!"
He then began to blow and blow.
The little pig began to squeal.
He cried, "Oh Wolf, you've had one meal!
Why can't we talk and make a deal?
The Wolf replied, "Not on your nelly!"
And soon the pig was in his belly.
"Two juicy little pigs!" Wolf cried,
"But still I'm not quite satisfied!
I know how full my tummy's bulging,
But oh, how I adore indulging."
So creeping quietly as a mouse,
The Wolf approached another house,
A house which also had inside
A little piggy trying to hide.
"You'll not get me!" the Piggy cried.
"I'll blow you down!" the Wolf replied.
"You'll need," Pig said, "a lot of puff,
And I don't think you've got enough."
Wolf huffed and puffed and blew and blew.
The house stayed up as good as new.
"If I can't blow it down," Wolf said,
I'll have to blow it up instead.
I'll come back in the dead of night
And blow it up with dynamite!"
Pig cried, "You brute! I might have known!"
Then, picking up the telephone,
He dialed as quickly as he could
The number of red Riding Hood.
"Hello," she said. "Who's speaking? Who?
Oh, hello, Piggy, how d'you do?"
Pig cried, "I need your help, Miss Hood!
Oh help me, please! D'you think you could?"
"I'll try of course," Miss Hood replied.
"What's on your mind...?" "A Wolf!" Pig cried.
"I know you've dealt with wolves before,
And now I've got one at my door!"
"My darling Pig," she said, "my sweet,
That's something really up my street.
I've just begun to wash my hair.
But when it's dry, I'll be right there."
A short while later, through the wood,
Came striding brave Miss Riding Hood.
The Wolf stood there, his eyes ablaze,
And yellowish, like mayonnaise.
His teeth were sharp, his gums were raw,
And spit was dripping from his jaw.
Once more the maiden's eyelid flickers.
She draws the pistol from her knickers.
Once more she hits the vital spot,
And kills him with a single shot.
Pig, peeping through the window, stood
And yelled, "Well done, Miss Riding Hood!"
Ah, Piglet, you must never trust
Young ladies from the upper crust.
For now, Miss Riding Hood, one notes,
Not only has two wolfskin coats,
But when she goes from place to place,
She has a PIGSKIN TRAVELING CASE.
Leave a guest comment (subject to review)
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I luv it
From guest Lissy liate (contact)
This is a great poem! many of my friends have got it and rehearse it at drama eistedfords! we love doing them and Roald Dahl, my ledgend! just happens to have the right peices for us! I LOVE YOU ROALD! -
From guest caitlin (contact)
we are doin the three little pigs for our leavers play n ma teacher picked this on i hink its brill -
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hilarious!!!
From guest rayann (contact)
i loved reading roald dalh's stories since the day i was born!!!...........his writing style,technique and stories are hilarious !!!!and you can never get bored of them!!!! i believe this is an excellent way (this site) to recieve and able to read his stories if you dont have his books!! -
That Is Good
From guest LilPrincess (contact)
That Is Very Funny Is Amasing Hoe Roald Dahl Could Do That I Sure Couldent! Its Brill!! -
AMAZING!!!
I really enjoyed it!I could read is poems all day!!!wow!!!!I love it!!! -
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Three Little Pigs and Red Riding Hood
From guest Joe Marching (contact)
Mingling fairy tale characters, using up to date English, putting in the story an unusual ending and unusual elements like the phone: simply great! But isn't poetry the use of words in an unusual way? It's ham for Roald's teeth. -
From guest Janice Luo (contact)
I use to think that Roald Dahl can only write books,but after reading this poem, I found out that he can write such a fantastic poem1What a talented person he is. -
From guest raechel. (contact)
no matter how old..i am..i cannot get over the humour of this poen..reminds me of my good old days where i used to attend elcution classes..!!awesome poem...! -
From guest JockClark (contact)
I studied this as part of an Arts and Humanities degree and loved it! -
Great Piece of Work!
The humor is set in really nicely with the ironic twist at closure, I really like the blending of the nursery rhymes. Wonderful to read! -
AWESOME POEM!!!!
From guest Jenna (contact)
This is an awesome, fantastic, wonderful, fabullous...and so on, POEM!! It ROCKS!!!!! -
OMG This is sooo funny!!! I love it! ^_^ haha pigskin traveling case haha.
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i love this
From guest joshua healy (contact)
man i love pigs....especially when there in m y belly! -
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3 Little Pigs
From guest Melissa Teague (contact)
Oh my goodness. This is terribly funny. I originally looked up The Revolting Poems because I ran across a list of banned books while teaching Catcher in the Rye with my 11th Graders. I would really like to incorporate some of these poems. I know my students would get a kick out of the fun, and I would be able to motivate them to READ as well. -
3 LIL PIGS
From guest Chats (contact)
I love this story, I love the fact that its not like other fairy tales, and has an unusual ending, and I LOVE THE RHYMING, FABULOUS ROALD DAHL. I LOVE YOU -
Revolting Rhymes
From guest Flutterby (contact)
This is written by a fantastic mind indeed. I am doing an assignment at the moment, on fairy tales that challenge the usual ideoligies of fairy tales, and this is a good example, especially seeing that Red Riding Hood, kills the wolf and pig at the End. ITS A GREAT FAIRYTALE. CONGRATS ROALD DAHL. -
Beyond the Mirror once again
From guest Ryan (contact)
pure genuis: metaphoric creations that surpass the common concepts of reality and fictionality, since Dahl comically tramples over the status-quo and rules of society that are placed on children/ adults everyday. For those who cannot grasp the underlying beliefs, it's alright since there are other methods and artists which can teach you how to see pass the mirror, like Alice in Wonderland. -
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RUBBISH!!
From guest charlotte (contact)
I did this at school when I was 9 I am now 12 and still hate it -
Hurry up and LOOK
From guest Marissa (contact)
i actually liked it. I had to do this story for my theater arts class once. -
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The Three Little Pigs
From guest D. Ham (contact)
Will do this one & Red Riding Hood at the Talent Show in our RV park...Thanks - these Rhymes are THE greatest! -
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The Three Little Pigs
From guest Mrs L James and 1J (contact)
That was the best version of this story we have heard. From the boys of 1J Warwick Junior School -
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To Mrs L James and the boys of 1J.
Thank you very much.
We appreciate your comment.
The Oldpoetry Research Team
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3 Little Pigs and a mean old wolf and a bitch in a red cape
From guest Melody (contact)
I love this story that has been thrown together.....I always new there was something about little red riding hood you just couldn't trust. -
Very entertaining! Really funny!
Best of all was the ending! -
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The three little pigs
From guest mel (contact)
I read this poem for a speech contest and the judges just loved it. I placed 4th with it. -
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From guest Emily McCartney (contact)
I really love this poem. i am in oral reading with UIL at my School in Millsap Texas. I won district with this poem last year, and I am doing it again this year. maybe I will do as good!! -
it's such a good poem
From guest lauren (contact)
It's me again lauren i just want to leave a comment saying this is such a good poem aswell!!! x -
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The Missing Lines
From guest Yukiko (contact)
Oh, if only I hadn't lost my copy! I'm fairly certain the lines were in the book, as it doesn't make much sense without them. -
Monologe
From guest Claire (contact)
This Would Make A great Monologe!! Thats what I am using it for!! Dont forget to include the parts below though!!! -
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To guest Claire
Thank you for your comment. Comments such as yours help make this probably the most accurate poetry site on the web.
I have noted your point about missing lines but out of the 1000plus versions on the internet I find only 2 that contain those extra lines. Therefore I will track down an actual book and do a double check before making changes.
You may well be correct but for accuracy's sake we must be careful.
Jim
Oldpoetry Team Manager
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Claire
From guest Claire (contact)
You also skipped the part after that that goes: No straw for him no twigs or sticks. This pig had built his house of BRICKS. -
Mistake
From guest Claire (contact)
You skipped the part that goes: But this one, Piggy Number Three, Was bright and brainy as can be. -
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FUNNY
From guest katy (contact)
i totally understand the red riding hood bit because in a play for school we did the roald version of it, and I was her. I love the rhyming beat and this is a great poem with a GREAT twist at the end! -
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diamond
From guest V S (contact)
though written for children, these poems are still written by an adult and are also amusing for more grown-up people -
From guest G W (contact)
This book (from which this poem is taken) was my favourite from childhood, in order to enjoy this one fully I recommend reading his version of Red Riding Hood first!! -
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i love Roald Dahl
From guest jack (contact)
wat a great poem Roald Dahl has made another of his great poems -
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cool
From guest caliban (contact)
i realy like this poem eppesilay the end when it says 2 wolf skin coats 1 from the little red riding hood! -
From guest MK (contact)
Really liked the poem and kept to the outline of the Three little pigs really closely.
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