The face of the precipice is black with lovers;
The sun above them is a bag of nails; the spring's
First rivers hide among their hair.
Goliath plunges his hand into the poisoned well
And bows his head and feels my feet walk through his brain.
The children chasing butterflies turn round and see him there
With his hand in the well and my body growing from his head,
And are afraid. They drop their nets and walk into the wall like smoke.
The smooth plain with its mirrors listens to the cliff
Like a basilisk eating flowers.
And the children, lost in the shadows of the catacombs,
Call to the mirrors for help:
'Strong-bow of salt, cutlass of memory,
Write on my map the name of every river.'
A flock of banners fight their way through the telescoped forest
And fly away like birds towards the sound of roasting meat.
Sand falls into the boiling rivers through the telescopes' mouths
And forms clear drops of acid with petals of whirling flame.
Heraldic animals wade through the asphyxia of planets,
Butterflies burst from their skins and grow long tongues like plants,
The plants play games with a suit of mail like a cloud.
Mirrors write Goliath's name upon my forehead,
While the children are killed in the smoke of the catacombs
And lovers float down from the cliffs like rain.
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Comments
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4/10
I feel that some of the words should have additives to them. Like in the first part 'round' is used and I feel 'around' would have been the better word. There are other words through the piece that I felt could use that. I mean look at the line:
'The children chasing butterflies turn round and see him there'
'The children chasing butterflies turn 'a'round and see him there'
I feel 'around' is the better word.
There are other words, too many to point out, (or I just don't feel pointing them out would help any) are like this. And I feel the piece lacks in a way because of that.
I also feel it moved at a too slow of a pace. And the vernacular was all over the place which made this piece a bit boring to me. I don't know why someone promoted this piece, it wasn't worth promoting (I saw it promoted yesterday).
The sense of the piece, by story-line I feel is good. But, that is the only thing that I find good about it.
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I can't say I understand this much. But, then again, I have a hard time understanding Dali. Therefore, it's perfectly titled. I hope someone can give a good interpretation of this piece, because I'd like to hear it. Thanks for the post. --STP
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