Soft was the night, the eve how airy,
When through the big, fat dictionary
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Listen, ladies, while I sing
The ballad of John Henry King.
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When our yacht sails seaward on steady keel
And the wind is moist with breath of brine
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You have heard of the wonderful one-hoss shay
That was built in such a logical way
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1775
Said Congress to George Washington:
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The sluggish clouds hang low upon the town,
And from yon lamp in chilled and sodden rays
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When young, in tones quite positive
I said, "The world shall see
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Ho, ye lovers, list to me;
Warning words have I for thee:
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The forest holds high carnival to-day,
And every hill-side glows with gold and fire;
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When Love and I drew softly nigh
And gazed in modest Chloe's eye
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Sence fair Jessica hez left us
Seems ez ef she hed bereft us,
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Sweet Love and I had oft communed;
We were, indeed, great friends,
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So great my debt to thee, I know my life
Is all too short to pay the least I owe,
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I have no heart to write verses to May;
I have no heart—yet I’m cheerful today;
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O! fair, sweet Phyllis and sweet, fair May,
Which of you carried my heart away?
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In hand I take this pen of mine
To write you, sweet, a valentine;
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The Cowboy had a sterling heart,
The Maiden was from Boston,
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When Ida puts her armor on
And draws her trusty blade
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Was ever a maiden so worried?
I’ll admit I am partial to Jim,
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When I go rowing on the lake,
I long to be a man;
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One year ago I wished that I
A banker great might be
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A sinner was old Captain Dan;
His wives guv him no rest:
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They hide in the brook when I seek to draw nearer,
Laughing amain when I feign to depart;
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The Whale is found in seas and oceans,
Indulging there in fishlike motions,
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A glint of her hair or a flash of her shoulder —
That is the most I can boast to have seen,
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And now behold this sulking boy,
His costly presents bring no joy;
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Whenas—(I love that "whenas" word—
It shows I am a poet, too,)
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A full-fledged gun cannot endure
The trifling of an amateur;
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Observe, my child, this pretty scene,
And note the air of pleasure keen
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THE GOSSOON [Weeping]
It’s bleedin’! It’s bleedin’!
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