The reign of King William the Second Were an uninteresting affair
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Sam Small had retired from the Army, In the old Duke of Wellington's time,
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You've heard of King Henry II And the story of how he got fond
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It were after the Battle of Crecy- The foe all lay dead on the ground-
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I'll tell you the story of Jonah, A really remarkable tale;
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Would you hear a Wild tale of adventure Of a hero who tackled the sea,
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Richard the First, Coeur-de-Lion, Is a name that we speak of with pride,
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When Sam Small joined the regiment, 'E were no' but a raw recruit,
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Joe Ramshottom rented a bit of a farm From its owner, Squire Goslett his name;
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Joe Dunn were a bobby for football He gave all his time to that sport,
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When Joe Dove took his elephants out on the road He made each one hold fast with his trunk
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When Sam Small retired from the Army He'd a pension of ninepence a day,
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I'll tell you the story of Balbus, You know, him as builded a wall;
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On Jubilee Day the Ramsbottoms Invited relations to tea,
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I'll tell you an old-fashioned story That Grandfather used to relate,
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On the banks of the Mersey, o'er on Cheshire side, Lies Runcorn that's best known to fame
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I'll tell you the tale of an old country pub As fancied itself up to date,
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'Twere getting dusk, one winter's night, When up the clough there came in sight,
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Albert were what you'd call “thwarted”. He had long had an ambition, which…
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Mr. Ramsbottom went to the races, A thing as he'd ne'er done before,
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I'll tell of Canute, King of England, A native of Denmark was he,
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I'll tell you a seafaring story, Of a lad who won honour and fame
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Henry the Seventh of England Wasn't out of the Royal top drawer,
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Henry the first, surnamed " Beauclare," Lost his only son William at sea,
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I'll tell of the Magna Charter As were signed at the Barons' command
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On young Albert Ramsbottom's birthday His parents asked what he'd like most;
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It was Christmas Day in the trenches
In Spain in Penninsular War,
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One day, little Albert Ramsbottom To see 'ow much money 'e'd got
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The day after Christmas, young Albert Were what's called, confined to his bed,
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You've `eard `ow young Albert Ramsbottom At the zoo up at Blackpool one year
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